Sunday, May 15, 2011

The day it said "pregnant"

Today is May 15th, 2011.
This morning, I found out that I am pregnant with baby number two!
It's been an interesting road up until this point, and we couldn't be happier that we are finally expecting our second child.
We decided to start trying for our second baby back in October.
However, I got off of "the pill" last summer (I think in July 2010), so my body could adjust and be ready once we decided to give it a shot.
Some of you know, but one of my best friends got married in October and I didn't want to be pregnant in her wedding.
That being said, it was kind of an internal struggle for me, because I wanted to have another baby much earlier but our calendar was just so busy-- we thought it would be smarter to put it off a little longer.
Hmmmm... why is it that we always seem to think that we are in control... ?
Anyways-- the wedding came. And passed.
I got pregnant immediately.
I was very nervous, excited and anxious about the whole thing.
I had blood drawn a few days before my missed period-- (yeah, psycho, I know)-- and my suspicions were confirmed. Pregnant.

However, to make a long story short-- my HCG levels never got very high and I had a miscarriage about a week after I fount out I was pregnant. It was very sad.

My doctor told me that it was OK to try again, immediately.
So we did. Month after month.
Six looooong months later-- here we are.

That probably doesn't sound like a long time to most.
However, when you want something that bad and you get caught up in counting cycles, ovulation kits and all that mess- time slows down... the whole thing can feel pretty isolating.
And people don't know how their actions can affect others... people constantly asked me when were planning on getting pregnant. Seriously? Is that really your business??

We got pregnant so easily with Chappell that this was sort of a shock to us.
I had my blood drawn at one point, because I convinced myself that I must have something wrong with me... I thought hypothyroidism at one point... maybe that was why I wasn't getting pregnant. Turns out my thyroid is fine.
In the meantime, all of my friends were popping up pregnant. I could name at least ten.
One of my best friends became pregnant and learned she was having twins.
Of course I was happy for them! But couldn't I get pregnant with ONE?

I learned a lot-- and I have such empathy for those trying to have a baby. It is frightening, confusing and frustrating when you cannot conceive. Month after month... awful.

It's very funny though-- the month I actually gave up trying... it happened! I've heard it often works that way.

WELL-- today I found out that we are indeed expecting another baby!
I am ecstatic and can't wait to share the news but will be a little more hesitant because of what happened last time.
I already had a GYN appointment scheduled for June 7, so I plan to call in the morning and change it to OB.

I won't be posting this until after that appointment-- but just wanted to document this pregnancy as much as I did for Chaps.
We are SO excited!!


Mary Louis Quinn said...

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you all had to go through all that! I can't even begin to imagine the pain, fear, loneliness, etc. I quit asking long ago when people were going to have another one- not only is it just plain annoying, but like you said, you have no idea what the other person is going through.

So so thankful for y'all's little blessing!!

Kristin Bailey Gardner said...

Just now reading this!! I had no idea that you went through all of that and I am so sorry, but so happy about the wonderful little blessing! My life has been so crazy with two kids and starting back to work, but I have been meaning to call you about getting together. Miss y'all so much and can't wait to catch up SOON!! Give Chaps a kiss from me!

Family Snodgrass said...

Holland, I am just now reading this post and just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry about the loss of your baby and the difficult road that followed. I am so happy for y'all that you now have another little bundle on the way.

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